xavier and butterflies

Last night my seven year old son, Xavier, took me in his confidence and asked, "Mom, what do you do if you like a girl?" Well i wasn't sure if he meant if i like a girl or if you like a girl in general, or specifically for him so i replied by asking, " Do you mean liking a girl for a friend for someone to hang out with and have fun, or a girl that makes your heart feel butterflies?" touching his heart as i said the last part.

well he was a bit shy and quiet as he answered back "Butterflies."

Aha i thought to myself and i had to smile. I then asked him "Does the way you feel make you sometimes do silly goofy things around her because you don't know what else to do?" nodding his head slightly he answered "yes."

I then lowered myself to my knees i looked him in the eyes, cupping his face in my hands i gave my son a kiss on the forehead and hugged him, i told him that as he grows up there will be many different times he will feel the butterflies for a special girl. It is a very special feeling that will make you feel goofy and mixed up alot of the time, and what he should do is to let her know that he likes her, and to be good to her.

My sweet Xavier said that she probably doesn't like him at all, and i told him that she most likely does, but she will probably be goofy also. and she probably already likes him for a friend that you have fun with and that is great.

so this morning before he went to school he just had to go into printshop on the pc to make her a poem with a nice gradient pastel background. of course the romantic he is, he chose the tried but true prose:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.

he then also attached a photo of himself next to his signature on the print out. i helped him put it in an envelope before he ran out the door to catch the bus for school.

Oh boy i am nervous all day now as to what i may or may not have to talk with him about when he comes home tonight as to the outcome of his giving her the poem.

I am very realisitic in looking ahead to the years of "teendom" and adulthood in teaching my children the ways of dealing with emotions now instead of just expecting them to figure it out on their own when it may be too late. the heart felt things are the ones that can put us into more turmoil than most others, and i hopefully will be able to guide them through each one until they can hopefully balance it out on their own. I want to be raising my sons to be men that are comfortable with all of their emotions and it definitely starts here not when they reach their 21st birthday.

I do not like the stereotypical comment "that's a man for you" or "just like a woman" nor do i agree with the sexist lines drawn for young boys and girls as to what expressions of self are allowed or not allowed according to gender, only to have all of those teachings slapped down when the children reach adulthood, and then are expected to behave differently opposite of the gender teachings of their childhood.

So today my seven year old son went to school with a poem he wrote for a special girl that makes him feel butterflies in his heart.